16 Reasons why marriages end in breakup and divorce.
Prepare yourself for your marriage, don’t wait, and then just wander in without any expectation. Once you are married, work on your marriage until there is nothing else that you can do. Guard your emotions. You might be wondering why marriages end in divorce.
Separation and emotional divorce are very popular in the world today. Talk about everything, including money matters because poor communication and money issues are major problems in marriages. Here are sixteen reasons why relationships might ends in break up and divorce:
1. Spouse is emotionally divorced from each other
Emotional divorce is killing family life. Some people stay together for the sake of appearance. They are worried about what the world, their friends, family, or pastor might say if they tell them of their situation. Children who grow up in these surroundings usually end up with psychological problems. Man and women are living together but, do not express any emotion, love, or feeling towards each other. Some refusing to let go of their past. This is one of the worst situations to be in. It is emotionally draining to keep up the pretense and act as if all is well. Some spouses neglect to spend the time to make their spouse feel special.
2. Emotionally broken spouse
A spouse who is broken emotionally usually doesn’t have much to give to the marriage. They will often blame people for their brokenness and will never take the blame for their condition. One spouse is giving everything and working hard to keep the marriage while the other is taking up space. It is difficult to satisfy an emotionally broken person. You can never do enough for them. Your best is never enough. You might pour your love out on them but it will run like water through a basket.
3. Money woes
Money problem is one of the main cause of separation and divorce. Spouses fighting because there isn’t enough to take care of all the bills or one person feels financially drain from having to shoulder most of the responsibilities. Some spouses hide away the money they have and leave the financial burden on the other. There are many scenarios of unfairness in regard to money. The underlying truth is that eventually, it will lead to major blow-ups that will affect the marriage. Spouses should not let money be a marriage killer but should share whatever they have equally. Fight together and remember that it is “for better or worst.”
4. Poor Communication
Good communication will help to bring closeness poor communication will bring trouble. Do not hide your feelings from your spouse. Try not to hide the money. Do not hide the fact that you are annoyed by their constant chatter. Just find an easy and subtle way to get your message across to them.
Poor communication is one of the main reasons why marriages end in divorce. Try to be as open and honest as you can. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It’s hard to follow a double-minded person who is going like the wind. Honesty and respect are the key ingredients to better communication. Include them every day in the mix.
5. Lack of respect
The road to respect goes a long way and goes both ways. Respect your spouse and expect the same. Do not talk down to your spouse, alone, in public, or anytime at all. Respect builds self-esteem, disrespect can destroy any marriage. Value your spouse’s opinion, even if you do not always agree with them. Count to ten before giving an answer when you feel the urge to yell. You will see things clearer and make a better decision when you are calm.
6. Religious differences
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Know your identity in Christ.
7. Lack of understanding of Marital Vows
Who rushes in? Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Too many people rush in without considering why they are going in or what does it mean to go in. God made Adam and saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone so he made him a helper, Eve. For better or worst doesn’t mean much to some people. Some go looking to see if they can find someone to help them better themselves.
While others might go in to see if they can find someone to take care of them as a parent should. Some just don’t want to be alone, while others go looking for a temporary place to hide out from a past divorce. Many go looking for an adventure, knowing very well that they are easily bored. The one that counts is; going in to share life to the end for better or worst, richer or poorer in sickness or in health. Till death do us part.
8. Sexual dissatisfaction
Sexual dissatisfaction often leads to infidelity. Unfulfilled needs can cause one spouse to go elsewhere to fulfill that need. There are different types of infidelity, One night stands, regular encounters without commitment, more than one encounter online -sharing fantasies and dreams or committed third party. In every case, they are wrong before man and God. Some spouses do not pay any attention to their spouse’s needs. In the long run, infidelity might lead to divorce.
9. Emotional Abuse
Some might say that emotional hurt cut deeper than physical hurt. “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Don’t agree! Emotional abuse from years of mockery, disrespect, and ridicule can lead to low or no self-esteem. Build up your spouse, be sympathetic. Even if they are saying something that you don’t agree with, don’t cut them off and say harsh words like “Shut up you don’t know what you are saying.” Instead, wait until they finish speaking then correct them in the best way you can. Gently and with a loving attitude. Don’t laugh at them and ridicule them in front of others. Show love like Christ commanded.
10. Lack of Love
Love is the glue that holds a marriage together. There should be no lack of love. Why, because we are love. Jesus commanded us to love like him. Always give our all. Love unconditionally. Nevertheless, a crucial reason why marriages end in divorce is lack of love.
11. Influence of family and in-laws
Family members and in-laws should always be supportive and give love and encouragement but, we know that is sometimes not the case. Some family members are out to ruin good marriages; the same for some in-laws. Too much involvement in matters that are not really their business.
Spouses should always talk through their problems together rather than rushing to family and in-laws for advice. Some already have their own broken lives that need fixing. It’s good to seek advice but take it back to God in prayer. Too many marriages end because of in-laws and others who had no good intentions. Years of bad advice from people with bad intentions can break up a good marriage. Family interference is a crucial factor to consider why marriages end in divorce.
12. Constant nagging
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house,”(Proverbs 21:9). Same for men. A peaceful life is at the top of most people’s list. You cannot always be the one in control. Talking, talking, and not allowing your spouse to get a word in. They might try their best to avoid you. Avoidance leads to distance. Distance to separation and separation to divorce.
Marriage is not the cure for addictions. Some people come into the marriage with many baggages; of addiction to pornography, drugs, etc. These are serious issues that can destroy a marriage and leave deep emotional scars. One spouse might be looking for a savior. Then get upset when they do not find one. The only savior is Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can forgive sins and save the soul.
This is having a sexual, emotional, or physical relationship and affairs that are outside of marriage. Be careful, guard your heart and eyes. We see in the bible where David committed adultery with Bathsheba. Affairs are deadly and can mess up your whole life and it all starts with looking, lusting, and one moment of weakness. Infidelity tops the list when we think of reasons why marriages end in divorce. Sometimes intentional and other times unintentionally. Sexual inadequacy and unfulfilled desires are problems that lead to infidelity in marriages.
15. Closeness and familiarity (with coworkers, friends, etc.)
Sometimes people are too familiar with each other. Knowing all about each other’s personal life and problems. This can develop into an unhealthy relationship if the motives are wrong. There is a chance that closeness could lead to familiarity and affairs can develop naturally even without that being the main intention. Some of these affairs begin in the workplace. Affection, attention, and care, can sometimes be misunderstood for the need to start an affair.
Affairs sometimes happen when coworkers decide to socialize one on one outside of the workplace. It might just start as a drink, then going out for a few drinks. Then it becomes a regular habit and before you know it he/she is dropping you home or you are going to his/her place and the problems become real. Often times it ends with the late hours, working late together when other employees have gone home to their families.
16. Change in financial status
Some people see life differently when they are elevated to a higher financial position. They sometimes stop seeing their spouse as attractive or as their ideal match. They might want to move on to someone else that they think is now in their bracket. Money changes people, so they say. Some people change for the worst when the money should have made them better. They forget where they come from and who they came with. They just ran ahead waving ‘Bye, I made it, sorry for you.” Remember your promise. “For richer or poorer.” Stick with it. Money or the lack thereof is one of the main reasons why marriages end in divorce.
Prayer for Marriage restoration
Lord God, I come to you in Jesus’ name. Lord, I am struggling in my marriage. My spouse has turned their back on me. Lord please deliver me and turn my marriage around. Father God, I bind the spirit of adultery and Jezebel spirit that has entered my marriage. Let hatred and disrespect leave my marriage and never return. Father God show me the doors that I have opened to allow the enemy access to my marriage. Lord I repent help me to close those doors. Let forgiveness and love overcome every evil in my marriage. Thank you, Lord, for the complete restoration of my marriage. In Jesus’ mighty name, I pray. Amen.